Gods of Egypt is horrible and worthy of all the scorn heaped on it. Racist, sexist, incomprehensible, and boring. No. Just no. Andy gives it 1/10 and Brooks is afraid of what movie is worse than this: 0/10.
Eddie the Eagle is just fun. Jackman and Edgerton are just fun to watch. Somewhat predictable sports hero story, (and so 80’s!) but they sell it so well. Andy gives it 7.5, Adam and Brooks are both at 8/10.
Triple 9 is a little confusing plotwise, but so intense it’s worth it. Great acting, especially by Anthony Mackie and Casey Affleck. Andy and Brooks both give it 8.5/10
We review Risen, The VVitch, Race, and make some predictions and suggestions for The Academy Awards coming next week. Make sure to follow @sithbot_ and @boredashellcast for Oscar live-tweeting from Adam.
Risen – the story of the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ told through the eyes of a Roman soldier. Wasn’t that the same plot as the fake movie within a movie in Hail, Caesar! ? Yes, yes it was. And the Coens get Jesus and the source material of The Bible far better than the makers of Risen did, especially when it turns into CSI: Jerusalem and the boring parts of The Hobbit. If you’re going to make a Jesus movie, have a point and make it clear. But it’s competently made and well-acted, so 5/10.
The VVitch – Atmospheric does not equal scary. Lame jump scares are not scary. Your actors need to not mumble their lines. But the film’s biggest problem is it is incredibly boring and has a really stupid ending. Really? That’s your ultimate bad guy? Still, it was atmospheric– the score and use of only ambient light was cool, but The Revenant did it far better. Adam gives it 3/10, Andy gives it 3.5/10.
Race – Clever title, there, movie. Still, a fun movie. Great performances by main cast, and weaves in the historical context incredibly well. We understand how bad it was in Hitler’s Germany and also for African-Americans in The United States. Joseph Goebbels and Leni Riefenstahl were played like they came from a Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon, but Riefenstahl’s attempts to film the Olympics become almost more interesting themselves, threatening to derail the main narrative. But at its core, this is an inspirational sports movie. Andy gives it 7.5/10.
Oscar predictions and who we would vote for. Follow us on Twitter as we live-tweet the awards show.
How to Be Single – kinda all over the place, but its cast is charming enough to make up for it. A story of self-discovery masquerading as a screwball comedy. Adam still doesn’t like Dakota Johnson. This comes from the same writers as He’s Just Not That Into You and previously worked on Sex and the City and New Girl. It’s similar to those, but Andy compares this to Fast Times at Ridgemont High but with all the gender roles swapped. Andy has a more full review here and gives it a 6.5, Adam gives it a 5.
Where to Invade Next – if Michael Moore hadn’t directed this, we’d be celebrating it for how great it was. But it’s not as impressive compared to Moore’s other work. His presence is also the worst thing about the film, which otherwise might be really enjoyable and poignant. Still, worth watching. Andy has a more full review here and gives it a 7.
Zoolander 2 – Did we really need a sequel, even to a movie we love so much? The first 20 minutes is great, then it becomes a slog in the middle, then picks up again when Will Ferrell finally shows up. The movie doesn’t know if it’s making fun of things, or if it’s making fun of people who make fun of them. It feels a little more mean-spirited and less funny. It’s all about those cameos, though. Adam gave it a 7 and has a review here, Andy is also at a 7. Brooke was at a 5, but that opening scene with Bieber pushes her to a 6.
Hail, Caesar!– new Coen Brothers wacky comedy about kidnapping in the Golden Age of Hollywood. It’s a silly movie about deep issues set against the backdrop of a movie studio, and all of those great pictures of yesteryear that just aren’t made anymore. Andy has a more full review here and gives it 9.5 out of 10, Adam gives it a 9 out of 10.
Deadpool – It’s your typical romance – boy meets girl, boy get struck by terminal disease, boy gets superpowers to overcome disease, boy blows up the world– and should be everyone’s Valentine’s Day plan. Adam and Brooke want to go again. It’s everything that Deadpool should be, including not for children. Andy wanted more satire and more Colossus, gives it 7.5 out of 10. Brooke is at 9 out 10, Adam is 10 out of 10— it’s the most fun he’s had at the movies in a long time. We’ve got more review here if you want more talking about it.
And congratulations to Brooke’s Denver Broncos, whom she was preparing to root for during the podcast and obviously gave the edge to them.
Kung Fu Panda 3 – not as good as the first two, but still very good. Bryan Cranston and JK Simmons steal the movie. Kung Fu movie tropes and the zen existential question “Who am I?” Gorgeous animation. A longer review here, but Andy gives it 7 out of 10
The Finest Hours – the true story of the heroic rescue of the SS Pendleton, so spoiler alert that the rescue is successful? It’s Disney, so the sailors don’t swear. Chris Pine is great as the Coast Guard captain, but even better is Casey Affleck as the ship’s engineer trying to keep the ship afloat and crew alive long enough to be rescued. And then it all screeches to a cheesy halt in the last 10 minutes. Fuller review here, Andy gives it 7 out of 10.
And we have a trio of films from Sundance:
Lo and Behold: Reveries on the Connected World – Werner Herzog’s 10-part documentary on the history of the internet, and where we’re going. Good, but lacks a through line. Werner Herzog impressions.
Newtown – the effects of the Sandy Hook shooting. Incredibly emotional what these families are going through, including the families of survivors dealing with the guilt as their friends and neighbors go through the pain. 9/10
Project Avalanche – foudn footage movie about faking the moon landing, featuring Stanley Kubrick via cleverly edited on-set interviews during 2001.
The Sundance acquistions, where they’re going, the Birth of a Nation record-breaking deal, more on #OscarsSoWhite and the SAG awards– how streaming is giving black actors more opportunity.
The podcast so you don't end up bored as hell at the movies