The Dark Universe has an inauspicious beginning in The Mummy. The first act is good, and as long as it stays about the mummy, it’s good. The shared universe stuff is terrible. Andy and Adam disagree about the ending, but no spoilers. It Comes At Night is suspenseful, not scary. It’s apocalyptic, but there’s no monster.
We’re back with a couple of inexplicable sequels. Adam called “Ouija: Origin of Evil” the candy corn of movies. And we were both unimpressed with “Jack Reacher: Never Go Back” but did like Cobie Smulders. Also, what horror movie stuck with you? The Ring and Paranormal Activity.
This week we saw Ben Affleck as The Accountant, which is kinda like Rain Man meets Jason Bourne. The Greasy Strangler also finally hit theaters, so we remember back to seeing it at Sundance and why it doesn’t deserve to be compared to John Waters movies. Also, our good friend Brooks Bird tells us about all of the releases by Arrow, who is kind of like the Criterion Collection for genre films.
Remember. . . The Blair Witch? ‘Member. . . Bridget Jones? ‘Member. . . Oliver Stone? Yes, this week we’ve got Bridget Jones’s Baby, Blair Witch,andSnowden.If any of those movies sound interesting to you, you are probably going to like them. If you don’t like rom-coms, horror, or paranoid real-life techno-thrillers, respectively, you probably won’t.
Bridget Jones’s Baby gives the core audience exactly what it wants, but doesn’t tread a ton of new ground. Still, very funny, and Ed Sheeran shows up. Andy give is 6/10 and has a more full review here.
Blair Witch makes Adam want to go camping even less. They’ve taken the first movie to its next level. Adam was scared and had a great time, giving it an 8/10 and a more full review here.
Snowden is complicated but ultimately boring. Amazing acting, but Stone is all over the place as director. It’s both paranoid and naive at the same time. Andy give is 6/10 and has a more full review here. Congratulations– after reading and listening to this, you’re probably on a government watchlist.
Star Trek Beyondis part heady sci-fi that deconstructs the essence of the franchise, and part big dumb action movie thanks to director Justin Lin. All kinds of fans will find different things to like here. 7.5/10 and a more full review here.
Mother’s Day is awful. Don’t let your mother or any other human close to it. 2/10 because the actors are all very charming and talented and deserve better material. Andy’s more full review here.
Green Roomis amazing. A story of punk rockers vs. neo-nazis with murder and evil Patrick Stewart. It follows a sort of horror movie pattern, but it’s incredibly inventive and fun. Adam is in love with this. It’s a 10/10.
Sing Streetis another film by John Carney (Once, Begin Again) and if you liked those you will love this too. Set in Dublin in the 80’s its soundtrack is full of classic 80s songs. Boy meets girl, boy starts band to impress girl, relationships between friends and lovers develop. Great story, great soundtrack. Andy’s favorite song and sequence from the movie:
Just say no to Allegiant as we instead review In a Valley of Violence, Slash (both premiered at SXSW) and You’re Killing Me. And we discuss the highs and lows of the Batman and Superman movie franchises.
In a Valley of Violence – a great, classic Western with modern sensibilities and a really cute dog. Ethan Hawke, John Travolta, Karen Gillan are all at the top of their game. Great fun. Andy gives it 8.5/10.
Slash – a movies set against the backdrop of teenage relationships, sexual awakening, and slash/fic– the genre of fan fiction that takes often antagonist characters and puts them in homosexual erotic scenes. While the language and content gets naughty and saucy, it rarely crosses the line and is mostly played for laughs. Also a 8.5/10
You’re Killing Me – vapid YouTube wannabe George has a new boyfriend, who it turns out is killing their friends. He’s too dense to figure it out. The script thinks it’s catty and clever, but it’s dumb. Adam gives it 2/10.
Our favorite Batman/Superman movies:
Adam is #TeamBatman and his fav is Mask of the Phantasm. Kevin Conroy is our Batman. Mark Hamill as the Joker.
Andy is #TeamSuperman and recommends The Donner Cut of Superman II. How Richard Donner was fired from the movie. Why Richard Lester camped it up. How this makes more sense.
We review Risen, The VVitch, Race, and make some predictions and suggestions for The Academy Awards coming next week. Make sure to follow @sithbot_ and @boredashellcast for Oscar live-tweeting from Adam.
Risen – the story of the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ told through the eyes of a Roman soldier. Wasn’t that the same plot as the fake movie within a movie in Hail, Caesar! ? Yes, yes it was. And the Coens get Jesus and the source material of The Bible far better than the makers of Risen did, especially when it turns into CSI: Jerusalem and the boring parts of The Hobbit. If you’re going to make a Jesus movie, have a point and make it clear. But it’s competently made and well-acted, so 5/10.
The VVitch – Atmospheric does not equal scary. Lame jump scares are not scary. Your actors need to not mumble their lines. But the film’s biggest problem is it is incredibly boring and has a really stupid ending. Really? That’s your ultimate bad guy? Still, it was atmospheric– the score and use of only ambient light was cool, but The Revenant did it far better. Adam gives it 3/10, Andy gives it 3.5/10.
Race – Clever title, there, movie. Still, a fun movie. Great performances by main cast, and weaves in the historical context incredibly well. We understand how bad it was in Hitler’s Germany and also for African-Americans in The United States. Joseph Goebbels and Leni Riefenstahl were played like they came from a Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon, but Riefenstahl’s attempts to film the Olympics become almost more interesting themselves, threatening to derail the main narrative. But at its core, this is an inspirational sports movie. Andy gives it 7.5/10.
Oscar predictions and who we would vote for. Follow us on Twitter as we live-tweet the awards show.
Krampus – If the idea is appealing to you of an evil cloven-hoofed Santa demon punishing a family of sociopaths who are like The Griswolds^10, then you might like this movie. Andy gives it 5/10.
Trumbo – Hollywood’s best writer gets blacklisted, starts writing under other names. The Blacklist and why it was so terrible. The actors in this. Louis CK. Joan Allen. John Goodman. Helen Mirren, Alan Tudyk. ALL amazing. And Bryan Cranston is beyond phenomenal. Andy gives this a 9/10.
The Empire Strikes Back – Andy thinks this is the greatest movie of all time. Adam thinks it’s up there, and it’s the best Star Wars movie. An even weirder movie than Star Wars– it plays backwards. John Williams. Boba Fett. A strange birdwalk about Ewan Macgregor and Michael Fassbender and their. . . ahhem. . . Han Solo and the Princess. That Carbon Freeze sequence tho. Willrow Hood!!! Oh, and Lando, I guess.
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