Tag Archives: horror

27 – Have Yourself a Deadly PG-13 Christmas

This week we review Krampus, Trumbo, and continue our countdown to The Force Awakens with The Empire Strikes Back.

WARNING: This episode, while still def in the PG-13 range, contains a bit more language and discussions of some subjects that may not be appropriate for your kids. Sorry, bitches.

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Krampus – If the idea is appealing to you of an evil cloven-hoofed Santa demon punishing a family of sociopaths who are like The Griswolds^10, then you might like this movie.  Andy gives it 5/10.

Trumbo – Hollywood’s best writer gets blacklisted, starts writing under other names. The Blacklist and why it was so terrible. The actors in this. Louis CK. Joan Allen. John Goodman. Helen Mirren, Alan Tudyk. ALL amazing. And Bryan Cranston is beyond phenomenal. Andy gives this a 9/10.

The Empire Strikes Back – Andy thinks this is the greatest movie of all time. Adam thinks it’s up there, and it’s the best Star Wars movie. An even weirder movie than Star Wars– it plays backwards.  John Williams. Boba Fett. A strange birdwalk about Ewan Macgregor and Michael Fassbender and their. . . ahhem. . .  Han Solo and the Princess. That Carbon Freeze sequence tho. Willrow Hood!!! Oh, and Lando, I guess.

21 – Rock the Steve Jobs

We review Jem and the Holograms, Rock the Casbah, and Steve Jobs, then Andy presents his favorite Disney Halloween scary movie and Adam presents his favorite funny horror movie.

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Jem and the Holograms – Who is this movie for? Not Jem fans. Not the rising generation. Not a bad film, just not a very good one. And not really a Jem movie. And why did it turn into The DaVinci Code and a heist movie for 30 minutes? Andy gives it 5/10

Rock the Casbah – This movie doesn’t know what it is or where it’s going.  Pick a theme and go with it. Bill Murray tries to do some schtick and it’s somewhat entertaining, but not enough to carry the movie — only one or two legitimately funny moments. Adam gives it 4/10, Andy 5.5/10.

Steve Jobs – It’s a Shakespearean Drama in 3 acts– and it’s just like Julius Caesar isn’t the history of Caesar’s death. So very Sorkin-y. Fassbender disappears into the role of Steve Jobs. And Seth Rogan can act! Who knew?!? Adam gives it 9/10, Andy 7.5/10- great movie but maybe not for all audiences.

Andy’s recommendation: Disney!! The Black Hole!!! Scary scientist! Cute robots! SUPER Scary robot! Trippy ending.

Adam’s recommendation: Horror Comedy!! Tucker and Dale vs. Evil! Hillbillies get mistaken for ax murderers, college kids keep accidentally falling into wood chippers, etc. Super gory and also just really funny.

PS– sorry for the lateness of this week’s episode. We both had hell for work.

20 – EHRMAGERD! Goosebumps, Crimson Peak, Bridge of Spies

EHRMAGERD! MAH FERVERITE MOVIES!!! 4 great films this week in Goosebumps, Crimson Peak, Bridge of Spies, and Beasts of No Nation.

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Beasts of No Nation – released in theaters and on Netflix the same day, this is a story about child soldiers in Africa starring Idris Elba. Go check it out in a local cinema if you want to cry in a theater, or on Netflix if you want to cry at home. Andy gives it 6.5/10

Bridge of Spies – Tom Hanks in a Spielberg movie written by the Coen Brothers, and it’s some of their best work ever. Our review at Big Shiny Robot every single person gave it a 10/10. Yes. It’s that good.

Goosebumps – Based on the books, this is almost more fun for adults than the kids, it includes all the monsters and stories we love and remember. Jack Black is even restrained! Adam has a more full review here and gives it 8/10

Crimson Peak – Sooooooo cool to look at! Absolutely gorgeous. And then it gets Game of Thrones-y. Andy’s full review is here, he gave it a 8.5/10, and Adam gave it 9/10.

18.1 – Evil Dead: The Musical

We interview the director and cast members from Evil Dead the Musical, currently playing in Vegas. Get your tickets at  http://evildeadvegas.com/ NOTE: This episode contains all sorts of Evil-Dead-ish talk, including swearsies. NSFW!

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Featuring actual music from the musical! Thanks to Evil Dead the Musical!

18 – Sicario, The Walk, The Martian

This week we cover Sicario, The Walk, The Martian and begin discussing the first of our Halloween recommendations.  Go vote for this week’s themes: Aliens vs. Zombies– or suggest your own. http://www.facebook.com/BoredAsHellPodcast 

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Quickly, Stonewall: If you’re going to call it Stonewall, actually make it about the Stonewall riots. It had as much to do with the Stonewall riots as Stonewall Jackson. But not a terrible movie. Roland Emmerich shows restraint? 5/10

Sicario: Benecio del Toro. Not too early to start talking Oscars.  Incredibly tense. It’s like Apocalypse Now or Full Metal Jacket but with the drug war instead of Vietnam. Andy gives it 7.5/10, Brooks says 8 just for the performances.

The Walk: About a real-life walk between the World Trade Center towers on a tightrope. First hour is a little slow, but that last part with the actual walk between the towers is amazing. The accent. Matthew Lillard as Shaggy. Like a 6/10. Go watch Man on Wire, the documentary about the same event.

The Martian: One of the best movies of the year. Makes you feel good about things. Science! Exploration! The movie vs. the book. Ridley Scott. Everyone is at a 9 or 10.

It’s October, so we’re recommending Halloween-themed movies every week with a different theme chosen by you, the listeners. This week, it’s “Supernatural movies.” eg, demons, devils, etc.

Brooks chose The Orphanage

Andy chose Hellboy

Adam chose Evil Dead (the remake)

Episode 16 – Sleeping With Other Shyamalans

We review M. Night Shayamalan’s The Visit and indie offensive rom-com Sleeping With Other People, including an interview with director/writer Leslye Headland at the end of the episode. Also, our favorite “politically incorrect” movies.

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The Visit had potential, and even has some good parts in it, but it’s clunky and has a trite ending. What happened to  M. Knight Shayamalan? Adam gives it 4/10 – you can read his full review here.

Sleeping With Other People is When Harry Met Sally for a-holes. Moustrap. Best use of David Bowie ever. We generally hate Jason Sudeikis, but he is awesome here. Andy loves Allison Brie. Adam gives it a 8.5, and Andy gives it a 9.

Political correctness. What’s the deal? Why you can’t have sacred cows. Context matters more than content. Here’s two incredibly offensive movies that we love:

Adam’s pick: Team America: World Police skewers all sides of the political spectrum. With puppets! That soundtrack.

Andy’s pick: Undercover Brother turns race relations on its head. There is an actual The Man and he’s keeping black people down, so here comes Undercover Brother and The Brotherhood, now with white intern Lance because of affirmative action! So many offensive jokes.

Happy Birthday, Zoolander!

Adam is on some panels at Comic Con. Don’t miss them!

Andy’s interview with Leslye Headland. It’s awesome.

Episode 14 – In Memoriam: Wes Craven, No Escape, We Are Your Friends

We lost one of the great ones in Wes Craven. Our In Memoriam is tacked on the end of the episode because we heard right after we finished recording. We also review No Escape, We Are Your Friends, and talk about iconic movie soundtracks.

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No Escape – Owen Wilson, Luke Bell and family try to escape from violence-plagued unnamed country following an anti-Western coup. Intense, but unsatisfying. Technically well-done, but doesn’t let you breathe. Violence is over the top, Asians are treated like zombies. Pierce Brosnan’s heavy-handed political rant and Deus Ex Machina. Adam gives it 3/10, Andy gives it 4/10 — all of that is for Lake Bell. Andy’s full review here.

We Are Your Friends – Zac Efron wants to be a DJ. It’s more like a coming of age story. Great music if you like EDM. Adam gives it a 7/10. Full review here.

Soundtracks can take a movie from great to legendary. Andy’s recommendation is O Brother, Where Art Thou and Adam recommends Guardians of the Galaxy.

In Memoriam for Wes Craven, including Adam’s husband Eddie. He reinvented the horror genre several times.

Episode 7 – The Problem with Prequels

We’re gonna get into a fight! The Gallows, Self/Less, Minions.

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The Gallows – A high school play production is haunted by the ghost of a cast member who died in the same school 20 years earlier. Andy was bored the first hour, think they didn’t do a good job as a found footage movie, but liked the last 20 minutes. Likes it was done in a high school auditorium. 3/10. Adam thought they earned the found footage and loved what they did with this. He was genuinely scared in some parts and the ghost itself was super scary. 7.5/10

Self/less – What is this movie? Sci fi? Action? How did it become a chick flick for a minute? Who would enjoy this? 3/10. Andy thinks this sounds par for the course for Tarsem Singh.

Minions – The plot and lead actors weigh down the movie. Andy and Adam’s opinions diverge on whether or not you can enjoy this movie as a series of skits and gags or whether you think those are boring. Andy says yes: 7.5/10 Adam says no: 4/10

Prequels:  We’re getting a Han Solo prequel– what Andy doesn’t want to see and why that’s what makes a bad prequel. Good prequels deepen character and build the world. Star Wars prequels. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Godfather Part II. You don’t even know they’re prequels!
Andy’s prequel: X-Men: First Class.
Adam’s prequel: Prometheus
Fassbender is the common denominator. Because he denominates.

Poltergeist won’t scare anyone

POLTERGEIST (5 of 10) – Directed by Gil Kenan; Written by David Lindsay-Abaire; Starring: Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt, Jared Harris, Jane Adams; Rated PG-13 for “intense frightening sequences, brief suggestive material, and some language”, in wide release May 22, 2015.

Originally posted at BigShinyRobot.com by Andy.

Don’t let the pedigree fool you. Despite being executive produced by Sam Raimi (Evil Dead, Spider-Man) and directed by Gil Kenan (Monster House), Poltergeist offers no new scares or thrills. Instead, we get a fairly predictable, by-the-book remake of the 1982 film (co-written by a Mr. Steven Spielberg).

In the era of over-the-top-blood-by-the-truckful-raining-from-the-sky horror remakes (I’m looking at you, Evil Dead remake!) or the deconstructive masterpiece that is Cabin in the Woods, you’re going to have to offer more than some evil clowns, creepy tvs, and a few good jump scares to make this work. In fact, in terms of ambience and scariness, I think you’ll have more scares watching a playthrough of Five Nights at Freddy’s on YouTube than in this movie.

Which is too bad. Both director and actors really try to elevate this material. Sam Rockwell is great as the dad, as is Jared Harris as the paranormal investigator (who now has his own reality show, natch), but the real stars here are the kids. Without them, the movie wouldn’t work at all. And they do a great job, or at least as much as they can.

Poltergeist isn’t a bad movie by any stretch. In fact, compared to the spate of other very, very, very bad haunted house movies we’ve been subjected to (I’m looking at you, every movie in the Paranormal Activity series!!), it stacks up well. But why this is being released now over Memorial Day weekend is beyond me, when it really would clean up is in October as we’re ready for a good scary movie. Maybe by then it’ll be on DVD and Blu-Ray, in which case, make sure you watch it at home with all your lights turned off and have a great time.

But waste my time and money in a theater when I could be watching Mad Max, Avengers, or Tomorrowland (or even Pitch Perfect if that’s your thing?) Nope. Not unless you’re REALLY in the mood for a few scares but mostly just retreading the same ground as the original, done with better effects.

5 out of 10.

Unfriended Review

Unfriended (1 out of 10); Directed by Levan Gabriadze; Written by Nelson Greaves; Starring Shelley Hennig, Matthew Bohrer, Will Peltz and Heather Sossaman; Rated R for violent content, pervasive language, some sexuality and drug and alcohol use – all involving teens; 82 minutes; In wide release on April 17, 2015.

Originally posted at BigShinyRobot.com by Adam.

Hollywood loves found-footage films because they are cheap to produce and usually make a ton of money. Unfortunately, most of these end up being complete rubbish and exist only to add to the studio’s bottom line. Unfriended looks promising because the trailers portray it as a unique and fresh take on the tired genre — a Blair Witch for the Facebook generation. Sadly, its gimmick is all it has going for it, and after it wears off 20 minutes in, all that’s left is an utterly boring and forgettable experience.

The whole movie takes place on a MacBook screen where the plot is laid out via text messages, Skype, YouTube and Facebook Messenger. Blaire (Shelley Hennig) and her friends are all happily Skyping each other when an unknown person hacks in and starts harassing them. At first this hacker is merely an annoyance since it won’t go away, but when it starts revealing dirty secrets about each teen’s past, they desperately try to get rid of it even as they begin to turn on each other. Blaire eventually figures out that it is the one year anniversary of the death of Laura (Heather Sossaman), one of their classmates who was driven to suicide after a particularly lecherous video of her was released online and ruined her life. Sure enough, the ghost of Laura has indeed possessed their computers and is out to get revenge against the people who tormented her in life. One by one, each teenager falls prey to her twisted games in order to punish whoever was responsible for recording and posting the video.

The only good thing about Unfriended is the initial novelty of watching everything unfold on a computer screen. Considering that many of us, and especially Millennials, pretty much live in their phones and computers, the idea of a ghost stalking you through social media is actually pretty cool and creepy. The director does a decent job of making it feel like we are watching a real teenager use her computer as she constantly flips through apps and web pages in the way a bored adolescent would. But like I said, that gets old really fast.

The last two-thirds basically boils down to a bunch of teenagers texting, drinking and yelling obscenities at each other, and that’s not a movie, that’s something on MTV. None of the kids are remotely likable; there’s no one to root for as each is an abominable person who we want to see killed in horrible ways except we really don’t get to.

Sure, the kids begin to die off in presumably gruesome ways, but instead of allowing us to see what happens, their computer will freeze or “buffer” allowing only a brief glimpse of what took place before their session hangs up. Half the fun of a horror movie are the death scenes, but Unfriended isn’t even kind enough to give us that. Which leads to the biggest problem of all.

It’s boring.

Horror can be funny, bloody, scary or outright strange, but this one isn’t any of that. It’s literally nearly an hour and a half of watching kids text with an occasional moment of “tension” thrown in when we know the ghost is going to kill someone. It isn’t scary in the least nor is it funny or remotely entertaining. This is the very worst kind of film because it’s very obvious it — and the inevitable sequels — only exist to fill a bank account.

I guess one can argue that it is trying to make a statement about the evils of cyber bullying, and yes, that is an underlying message, but most people would probably find an after-school special more interesting than the drivel presented here. There’s just nothing going on.

Unfriended is so bad that months down the road, most people won’t even remember it exists, and I can’t think of a more damning sentiment about a film. This could have been really fun and creepy, so it’s too bad that the final result was so terrible.