WE LOVE BLADE RUNNER 2049!!! And we’re going to spend 30 minutes not telling you anything about it.No spoilers. Zero. But lots of why it’s good. How it succeeds where movies like Ghost in the Shell, mother!, and Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets failed. This is the best movie of the year, and we both give it a 10/10 perfect score.
Warning! This episode gets PG-13 with a couple of f-words and discussions of the adult content of mother! We also welcome Kaitlyn Booth of Bleeding Cool. Andy talks Rebel in the Rye: a good movie about a kind of garbage person who wrote a garbage book that garbage people love. 5/10. Kaitlyn saw American Assassin and found it utterly unnecessary and cliched. And then there’s mother! We all hate it with a fiery passion. And no, it’s not because we don’t understand it.
The Dark Tower and Detroit opened this week. Neither of us are familiar with the source material. Adam gives it a 7, Andy gives it a 6. A cameo by Mr. Meeseeks. Detroit and Andy talks for a long time about racism. Get Out and Mondo posters.
Three movies with A Ghost Story, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, and Dunkirk. Andy kind of hated A Ghost Story. Rooney Mara eats a pie. Casey Affleck wears a sheet. It’s a boring, pretentious mess. Valerian is visually amazing but has some problems. Dunkirk is amazing, but Andy has some problems with it.
We have a special episode early because it’s SPIDER-MAN! The newest film fits in with the MCU but also is its own thing. It’s really, really great. Funny. No Uncle Ben death– thank you! Teen angst. The Vulture and why he’s awesome. Just give all your stuff to Marvel, Sony (and Fox).
One for the kids and one for the adults as we check in with the further adventures of Gru in Despicable Me 3 and ride along with Edgar Wright’s Baby Driver. If you liked the first two Despicable Me movies, you’ll like this one. Andy sees maybe a subversive message about remakes and nostalgia. The Minions grow tiresome. Baby Driver is phenomenal. Dat soundtrack, tho. It’s a musical, just with car chases, gunfights, and ‘splosions. One of the best movies of the year.
A great movie and a horrible movie with special guest Rich Bonaduce! as we review Transformers: The Last Knight and War for the Planet of the Apes. An inexplicable plot. Stupid action. All characters are stupid. British Megan Fox has a PhD and will remind you about it, but she just needs a man. Mark Wahlberg just needs a woman. Convenient. It’s all so terrible, and so boring. But War for the Planet of the Apes is the anti-Transformers: smart, fun, and has something to say. Great blend of summer action and thoughtful message. We need a palate cleanser– too bad everyone else has to wait until July 14 to see it.
Weird mediocre week with shark movie 47 Meters Down, raunch-com Rough Night, and Cars 3. Drink every time someone mentions The Bends and you will die. Not enough sharks (or scares) in this shark movie. Stupid ending. Rough Night is about women, but in the end the insecure fiance is the hero? Should’ve been more funny given how great the cast is. Cars 3 is terrible for the first hour, then gets kinda good. We spoil the hell out of it, so beware. You can read the written form of Andy’s comments here. The short Lou before the movie is the best part. That we don’t spoil because it’s beautiful.
The Dark Universe has an inauspicious beginning in The Mummy. The first act is good, and as long as it stays about the mummy, it’s good. The shared universe stuff is terrible. Andy and Adam disagree about the ending, but no spoilers. It Comes At Night is suspenseful, not scary. It’s apocalyptic, but there’s no monster.