30 – Joy to the Carol of the Big Short Hateful Eight

This week we review Carol, Joy, The Big Short, and The Hateful Eight.  Then we discuss our five least favorite movies of the year. We’re doing something different with the soundtrack this week: in celebration of The Beatles discography now being available streaming, Andy just threw on a bunch of his favorite Beatles tunes.

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Carol – Not sure how this got so many Golden Globe nominations as Andy almost fell asleep in the theater. This film should’ve been more interesting. More full review here, Andy gives it 4/10. 

Joy – The somewhat true story of Joy Mangano, the inventor of the Wonder Mop and pioneer of home shopping TV.  We wanted the second half to be the happy part. Adam gives it a 5/10.

The Big Short – How do you make a movie about the financial collapse not depressing and boring? Get the guy who made Anchorman to write and direct it. All the actors are great. It’s good, not subtle. Andy gives it 8.5/10 and there’s a more full review here.

The Hateful Eight – Tarantino made an amazing western! If this sounds appealing to you, try to see the 70 mm version. This might be the best movie of the year for Adam. Andy has a few issues with it, but he feels bad nitpicking a film he loves so much.  Adam gives it 10/10, Andy gives it 8.5/10.

Our bottom 5 for the year:

Adam:

5- Jupiter Ascending
4- Fifty Shades of Grey
3- Pixels
2- Fantastic Four
1- Love the Coopers

Andy:

5- American Sniper
4- Unfinished Business
3- Home
2- Jupiter Ascending
1- Pixels (special shout out to Ridiculous Six, The Cobbler because they are also awful)

29 – The Road Chip Awakens

We get to review “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”. . .  but first we have to eat our vegetables and review “Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Road Chip.”

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Oh, The Road Chip. You are a literal piece of crap. Because you are a franchise who advertises poo-eating in your trailers, and the pee and poo jokes continue in this 4th “film” in the series. We wish all the talented people well who worked on this film: may the checks you cashed sustain you well until your next project. 2/10 and a more full review here.

Star Wars!! The Force Awakens! A spoiler-free review that does include discussion of minor plot points and character descriptions that describe what transpires in the first 15-20 minutes of the film. All major real spoilers are kept under wraps.  Rey is a new feminist hero. What made us well up with tears. We all give it a 10/10 or higher.

 

28 – In the Heart of the Macbeth

We review In the Heart of the Sea, Macbeth, and finish our countdown to The Force Awakens with a detailed rehash of Return of the Jedi.  And Adam dishes out Shame! pronouncements via his new app.

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Macbeth is bloody, violent, dirty, sexy, and altogether not Macbeth. The performances are good, but they tried to change this so much and focus on big overt things like battles, it just didn’t gel and didn’t “get” the source material. Andy gives it 4/10.

In the Heart of the Sea has the same problems. Why make this movie when you could’ve just made a great Moby Dick movie? There’s no excuse for this to be as boring and padded as it is.  Andy gives it also a  4/10.

Return of the Jedi is not just the movie we grew up with, but it’s a movie that grows up with you. Changes in the Special Editions. “No!” Grey Jedi. Star Wars comics. Klaatu Barada Nikto.

27 – Have Yourself a Deadly PG-13 Christmas

This week we review Krampus, Trumbo, and continue our countdown to The Force Awakens with The Empire Strikes Back.

WARNING: This episode, while still def in the PG-13 range, contains a bit more language and discussions of some subjects that may not be appropriate for your kids. Sorry, bitches.

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Krampus – If the idea is appealing to you of an evil cloven-hoofed Santa demon punishing a family of sociopaths who are like The Griswolds^10, then you might like this movie.  Andy gives it 5/10.

Trumbo – Hollywood’s best writer gets blacklisted, starts writing under other names. The Blacklist and why it was so terrible. The actors in this. Louis CK. Joan Allen. John Goodman. Helen Mirren, Alan Tudyk. ALL amazing. And Bryan Cranston is beyond phenomenal. Andy gives this a 9/10.

The Empire Strikes Back – Andy thinks this is the greatest movie of all time. Adam thinks it’s up there, and it’s the best Star Wars movie. An even weirder movie than Star Wars– it plays backwards.  John Williams. Boba Fett. A strange birdwalk about Ewan Macgregor and Michael Fassbender and their. . . ahhem. . .  Han Solo and the Princess. That Carbon Freeze sequence tho. Willrow Hood!!! Oh, and Lando, I guess.