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Episode 7 – The Problem with Prequels

We’re gonna get into a fight! The Gallows, Self/Less, Minions.

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The Gallows – A high school play production is haunted by the ghost of a cast member who died in the same school 20 years earlier. Andy was bored the first hour, think they didn’t do a good job as a found footage movie, but liked the last 20 minutes. Likes it was done in a high school auditorium. 3/10. Adam thought they earned the found footage and loved what they did with this. He was genuinely scared in some parts and the ghost itself was super scary. 7.5/10

Self/less – What is this movie? Sci fi? Action? How did it become a chick flick for a minute? Who would enjoy this? 3/10. Andy thinks this sounds par for the course for Tarsem Singh.

Minions – The plot and lead actors weigh down the movie. Andy and Adam’s opinions diverge on whether or not you can enjoy this movie as a series of skits and gags or whether you think those are boring. Andy says yes: 7.5/10 Adam says no: 4/10

Prequels:  We’re getting a Han Solo prequel– what Andy doesn’t want to see and why that’s what makes a bad prequel. Good prequels deepen character and build the world. Star Wars prequels. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Godfather Part II. You don’t even know they’re prequels!
Andy’s prequel: X-Men: First Class.
Adam’s prequel: Prometheus
Fassbender is the common denominator. Because he denominates.

Episode 6 – Bros before Robos

This week we review Magic Mike XXL (bros), Terminator: Genisys (robos), and then discuss our favorite guilty pleasures.

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Featuring guest host Brooke Heym of Two Feminist Moms. You should listen to their podcast! And go to twofeministmoms.com

Magic Mike XXL – Andy says it’s a pale imitation of the original. Anyone who wants to see this movie should just go watch Magic Mike instead. 4/10

Best review ever from Brooke: “Well, that’s worth the $1 rental from Redbox…” A movie about male strippers with only 4 dance scenes in it?!!? 3/10

Terminator: Genisys – 

This thing gets totally retconned. Adam likes it and how it resets the timeline– like X-Men: Days of Future Past. 8/10

This made Andy’s head hurt. He’s too close to the other movies and they didn’t explain well how they were making time travel and alternate timelines worked. They missed out on exploring the coolest parts of the movie an the best part of what makes a Terminator movie. 6.5/10

Brooke’s never seen a Terminator movie, so it was ok, but she was missing something. She saw a lot of missed opportunity, especially with Sarah Connor. Did not like the ending. 6/10

Guilty pleasures!!!

Brooke: Blue Crush. It’s like Magic Mike with surfer girls and surfer guys.

Andy: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

It’s like the Muppet Movie in reverse. Don’t tell my wife about Eliza Dushku in a skintight leather catsuit. Mark Hammil!

Adam: Orgazmo Trey Parker and Matt Stone from South Park made a movie about a Mormon missionary who accidentally becomes a porn star. We could watch every day and laugh at it. It’s rated NC-17 for dialogue,  but there is almost zero female nudity. Lot of dudes’ butts, though.

This episode include music from:

Episode 5 – Me, Ted 2, Max, Earl and the Dying Overnight

We review Max, Me Earl and the Dying Girl, The Overnight, Ted 2… and stay to the end to hear our Top 10 of 2015 so far! The future of R-rated comedies.

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Max – 2.5/10 – The weirdest, worst afterschool special ever. The good? A boy and his dog. Robbie Ammell fighting in Afghanistan. Lauren Graham. The bad? Thomas Haden Church’s wooden acting. The ridiculous plot about the gun smuggling. Andy’s longer review here.

Me, Earl and the Dying Girl –  8/10 – Won ALL THE AWARDS! at Sundance. Lots of great stuff in here for cinephiles. Not a typical love story, but very touching and smart.

The Overnight – 6/10 – Lots of fake dong. This movie is the Venn Diagram of Funny + Awkward. Duplass Brothers executive produced– makes sense. Andy’s “longer” review (or is it a prosthetic?) here.

Ted 2 – Adam: 3/10; Andy: 5/10 – Seth Macfarlane is just ripping off his own jokes. Ted was funny. Ted 2 is not. Some funny nerd humor and easter eggs, but it felt a little mean-spirited. Seth Macfarlane can’t do smart political/ethical satire necessary to carry this plot.

Episode 4 – Dope, Inside Out. . . and what is the deal with critics?

This week we review Disney/Pixar’s Inside Out and indie comedy-drama Dope. 

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Dope is about young Malcolm growing up in Inglewood, Los Angeles, as a self-proclaimed geek who is into “white shit” like skateboarding, Game of Thrones, manga, his trip-hop punk bank named Awwreoh! and getting good grades and going to Harvard. Through a series of misadventures, the day before his fateful alumni interview that could determine his future, he gets a bunch of drugs planted in his backpack and then is placed in circumstances where he has to sell them. Sorry for plot spoilers– that’s not the point. Lots in here about racial identity– what it means to be black and expectations based on your race. There’s also a strong commentary about drugs and how the impoverished African-American community deals with the violence and problems of delivering drugs to white folks.

Strong performances by main cast, a GREAT soundtrack (which you can stream here) and lots of laughs and real drama.  8/10

Inside Out is Disney/Pixar’s return to form after not having an incredibly spectacular movie for a while. Perfect cast. The purpose of Sadness. Bing Bong.

9/10

Our childhood imaginary friends.

What is the purpose of criticism or critics?

Ratatouille –  the main message here was Gusteau saying that “Anyone Can Cook.” Remy was challenged by knowing that a critic was coming in to eat their food, and he made something to blow his mind.

Chef – Jon Favreau and Oliver Plat get into it on social media over a bad review. Chef says critic doesn’t understand how to cook. Critic says his dishes are uninspired. So chef gets fired, gets inspired with a food truck, and critic ends up wanting to financially back his restaurants. What what what?!?!

Critics are chefs’ friends– they demand more, and point out where things can be improved. What do you need to be a critic? Anyone can cook, so anyone can critic– just use critics as a lens or filter, not infallible arbiters of good and bad.

Birdman – theater critics are way mean. Why are they so broken? We wanted to like TMNT. Really. Sometimes a movie is just escapism. The law of large numbers and critic aggregation sites.

Agree with us, disagree with us– let’s have a discussion.

Closing song is from Lava, the short that played before Inside Out. We forgot to review it, but it is excellent and worth the price of admission alone.

Episode 3 – Jurassic World, Christopher Lee Tribute

We review Jurassic World and share memories about Christopher Lee.

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Jurassic World – It has its flaws, but we both loved it. Buy the premise, but the bit. Lots of easter eggs and nods to the first film. Maybe too many nods– and outright aping shots and score from the first one. Christ Pratt is awesome. Least annoying kids. Wasted D’Onofrio. Adam gives it 7/10, Andy gives it 7.5/10. For more and to read us arguing with Bryan Young, read the roundtable review over at Big Shiny Robot.

In Memoriam: Christopher Lee – Yes Saruman and Dooku, but so much more. Andy talks The Man with the Golden Gun. Lee’s Nazi-hunting days. Tolkien expert and stabbing expert. Adam talks heavy metal and Christmas albums.

Music in this week’s episode taken from the Jurassic Park score by John Williams, the Fellowship of the Ring score by Howard Shore, and “The Bloody Verdict of Verden” from Christopher Lee’s metal rock opera about Charlemagne.

Episode 2 – PRIDE, Pitch Perfect 2, Spy, Entourage, Love and Mercy

June is LGBTQIA+ Pride month, so we’re celebrating! Tony Awards, so let’s talk musicals:

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Pitch Perfect 2 If you saw the first Pitch Perfect and The Mighty Ducks 2, you’ve seen this movie. But it’s still pretty good. Andy gives this a 7.5/10.

Spy – Not a spoof of spy movies– an actual spy movie with comedic elements. Melissa McCarthy and Paul Feig work great together, and the supporting cast is amazing. But Feig needs an editor. Both Andy and Adam give this an 8/10

Entourage – Why? We didn’t need this movie. And there simply aren’t enough celebrity cameos and mindless T&A to make this interesting. 3/10 says Andy.

Love and Mercy – Brian Wilson of The Beach Boys, played by Paul Dano in 1967 as they’re recording Pet Sounds, played by John Cusack in the 80’s as Wilson deals with mental health issues and being dominated by his live-in therapist (Paul Giamatti) and Elizabeth Banks is there to try to save him. It’s like a lot of musical biopics, but Andy really liked it: 9/10

Our recommendations for the week, based on the theme of LGBTQ Pride:

Adam: Weekend (2011) A great story of a weekend hookup that becomes something more. Beautiful story, great acting, great direction. Immediately released as a Criterion and so deserving.

Andy: The Case Against 8 (2014) – As a political junkie, Andy loved this documentary about the court case and the couples who served as the plaintiffs to overturn California’s Prop 8. Former opposing attorneys during the Bush v Gore Florida recount, Ted Olson and David Boies are the main lawyers in this case. Olson provides a strong, conservative case for recognizing marriage equality. Truth is better than fiction. Available on HBO Go, so also check out Angels in America and The Normal Heart.

Music in this episode:

Theme song: Boyz in the Hood performed by Dynamite Hack

Pitch Perfect cast: Cups (When I’m Gone), Das Sound Machine performs at Das Car Show, We Belong

Duran Duran – A View to a Kill, Theme from “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service”, Shirley Bassey – Goldfinger

Jane’s Addiction – Superhero (theme from Entourage)

Beach Boys – Don’t Worry Baby, God Only Knows

Songs from the 2015 Tony Award Winner for Best Musical – Fun Home — “Ring of Keys”, “Welcome to the Fun Home”

Weird Al Yankovic – Jurassic Park

Episode 1 – Tomorrowland, Mad Max: Fury Road

What is “Bored as Hell”? A podcast that will keep you from being bored as hell at the movies.

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Our philosophy on movie ratings: a 1-10 scale that is essentially a Bell Curve: most movies are going to be in the 3-7 range, and 1s and 10s are truly rare and equally awful as they are spectacular. But taking your entire family to the movies and buying popcorn can be as expensive as movie ticket, so you want to choose wisely.

Tomorrowland poster

Tomorrowland – It’s good to go into this movie relatively blind of what it’s all about. Know that it’s a slower burn, more thinky movie. But it’s still good for kids– depending on your kids. The acting is great: Clooney and Britt Robertson are great, but the breakout star is Raffi Cassidy.

The third act has some problems, and the ending is a little preachy. Andy likes the preachiness.

8/10

Tron 3 gets cancelled. Why Adam’s mom hates Tron. The dumbing down of sci-fi.

Hugh Laurie and George Clooney on Graham Norton this week was great. Next week Chris Pratt!

Mad Max Fury road poster

Mad Max: Fury Road – the movie that shouldn’t have been made. Max is basically a feral creature, captured by Immortan Joe’s cult of War Boys and used as a bloodbag for Nux, played by Nicholas Hoult. When Imperator Furiousa (Charlize Theron) takes off in her war rig with Immortan Joe’s harem, they go after her with all the fury they can muster. And then you have a 2 hour car chase.

Remember when Warner Bros was going to let George Miller make a Justice League movie? Andy thinks this is not only the best movie of the year, but the best of the last several years– the best since the first Avengers. Tiny moments and glances mean so much. You can dissect so much of this movie. The War Boys’ religion and nerding out about it for an hour and a half.

This is the opposite side of the same coin of Tomorrowland. Both directors present visions of the future and we can choose our destiny. Is the movie about feminism? Sure, but it’s also about a ton of other issues and layered. Nux probably has the best character arc of the movie.

Mad Max Fury Road guy playing guitar cool meme

Go see this a bunch of times.

10/10

What we’re excited about, what we’re concerned about for the rest of the year.

Recommendations:

Andy: Get a Hulu Plus subscription. Catch up on tv you missed, plus Hulu is adding Seinfeld on June 24th. They also have every Criteron movie available to stream.

Adam: Criterion Collection dvds/blu-rays at Costco. Why Criterion is great. This month’s Criterions at Costco is Seven Samurai and Fantastic Mr. Fox.

San Andreas only kind of “Rock”s

SAN ANDREAS (6 of 10) – Directed by Brad Peyton; Written by Carlton Cuse; Starring: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Carla Gugino, Alexandra Daddario, Archie PanjabiPaul GiamattiIoan GruffuddHugo Johnstone-BurtArt Parkinson; Rated PG-13 for “intense disaster action and mayhem throughout, and brief strong language”, in wide release May 29, 2015.

Originally published at BigShinyRobot.com by Andy.

San Andreas is a film in that grandest of traditions of giant, spectacular disaster movies, shared by other “classics” like The Towering Inferno and The Poseidon Adventure that were staples of cinema in the 70’s, 80’s and even into the 90’s (remember when we had TWO volcano movies in 1997 and then TWO asteroid movies in 1998?) In that sense, San Andreas doesn’t cover any new ground, but it does deliver a lot of action, some genuine thrills, and even manages to make this cynical critic care about its characters a little bit.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is an elite Los Angeles Fire and Rescue helicopter pilot, and we see just how skilled he is in an opening sequence during a harrowing rescue of an SUV dangling off a cliff in the San Fernando Valley.

At the same time, Cal Tech seismology professor Paul Giamatti may have discovered a method of predicting earthquakes, and he and his team race off to the Hoover Dam outside Las Vegas to investigate a cluster of small quakes.

Of course, disaster strikes. . .and it may mean certain doom as the quakes threaten to spread up and down the San Andreas Fault, destroying . . .well, pretty much all of California.

When the megaquake hits, Johnson has to swing into action to save his estranged wife from the top of a downtown LA skyscraper, and then rescue his daughter in San Francisco. Yes, there’s some family drama and angst. And a tragic backstory. Luckily, it doesn’t get too cloying and actually helps make the story more interesting rather than just have the movie be a series of sequences watching buildings topple over.

Unfortunately, this is still basically a retread of the disaster movie genre, simply switching out Hollywood’s favorite nihilistic obsession of destroying itself (eg, next week’s Entourage premier. . . ZZzzzing!!!) with destroying the Bay Area instead. While the script is attributed to former Lost producer Carlton Cuse, it is very obviously a product of the Hollywood script-by-committee.

But, that being said, it is a better entry into the disaster genre, understanding what it is and where it comes from, and it tries to exceed the limitations of what it is. For example the film takes a different turn in its final act as San Francisco deals with a giant tsunami, helping to make sure each action sequence builds from the previous one and tries to raise the stakes.

While the real stars here are the spectacle and the special effects, the human cast does a great job as well. Carla Gugino seems to have a lot of fun here, and when daughter Alexandra Daddario (The Percy Jackson movies, White Collar) is trying to escape from crumbling and flooding San Francisco, she’s aided by a pair of English brothers who bring a lot of fun and hear to the story.And yes, there’s even a little bit of a love story. Awwww. . . .predictable and trite? Yes. But remember, this is a disaster movie, not Shakespeare.

There’s a great metaphor for this film in its choice of soundtrack, which uses a remake of The Mamas and the Papas’ “California Dreaming” by Sia. Hey, that’s a good song, and a good singer, and she tries to take it in an interesting direction by making it a soulful ballad. But. . .it kind of misses the mark, as that song is really all about the harmonies and call-and-repeat mechanic that a single singer can’t deliver. Good try. Not bad. Great production values. But ultimately not a classic.

Overall, you can sum up whether or not you should see this movie with this question: Do you want to see Los Angeles and San Francisco get completely wrecked? If yes, enjoy, but don’t expect too much from it. If not, go watch Mad Max: Fury Road again.

Tomorrowland Roundtable Review

TOMORROWLAND (8 of 10) – Directed by Brad Bird; Written by Damon Lindelof and Brad Bird; Starring: George Clooney, Hugh Laurie, Britt Robertson, Raffey Cassidy, Tim McGraw, Kathryn Hahn, Keegan-Michael Key, Thomas Robinson; Rated PG for sequences of sci-fi action violence and peril, thematic elements, and language, in wide release May 22, 2015.

Originally posted on BigShinyRobot.com by Adam and Andy.

Disney’s and Brad Bird’s Tomorrowland is everything you’d expect from Disney and Brad Bird. In a world where cynicism, ironic detachment, and hopelessness pervade everything, it reminds of what it used to be to dream about a shiny future. And it maybe offers a glimmer of hope of how it can be that way again.

The story follows high schooler Casey Newton (Britt Robertson), whose father (Tim McGraw) is a NASA engineer tasked with dismantling the space shuttle launch platform in Cape Canaveral. This is distressing to young Casey for numerous reasons, the biggest of which is it seems like we’ve given up on our aspirations for a better future and resigned ourselves to a future ravaged by climate change, nuclear terrorism, and dystopian politics.

Casey, by touching a Tomorrowland pin, is given a glimpse into this beautiful city of the future. With our world in peril, Casey must join together with a former boy genius Frank Walker (George Clooney) to get back there and prevent impending doom.

As big of a movie as this is, we assembled our robot roundtable to break it down as only we can:

Citizen-bot: I saw this movie as everyone should: with my 10 year old. This film’s message of hope and dreams and imagination hit her just as hard as it did my 10 year old inner self.

Swank-mo-tron: I too came with my kids and I think my enjoyment of the film was better for it. It was a homerun for them and they’ve asked to see it again already. For me, I found the film to have a couple of slight flaws in the structure and logic of the film, but the good far outweighed my complaints about these things. In fact, this film, in a sea of dystopian stories for the last 20 years was nothing short of refreshing. And more than that, it pressed all of my Disney-nerd buttons. It felt like Brad Bird was channeling Walt Disney by way of the Steven Spielberg that made films like E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial and Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

Citizen-bot: I definitely got the Spielberg/Disney mashup vibe. It also reminded me of another great kids sci-fi movie I loved about sci-fi and the power of (literally) following your dreams: Joe Dante’s Explorers starring a very young Ethan Hawke and River Phoenix.

Adam: The one thing I’m really glad I did was go into this movie almost completely blind. The only exposure I had was the first trailer, so I didn’t go in with any expectations of what to expect, and I would highly recommend everyone who can approach it that way, do so. Some of the people I talked to after the screening were disappointed because they wanted to see an action, sci-fi, summer movie, and while there are some really cool and well-shot action moments, this movie is all about the small, intimate moments between the characters and their personal growth. And that’s why it worked for me. Lots of explosions, car chases and battle scenes would have ruined it for me, so I’m glad they were used sparingly. In fact, their inclusion in the third act was the weakest moment overall.

Swank-mo-tron: For me, I was astounded by how well Raffey Cassidy carried her parts of the film. She’s a very young actress and she has to carry her own against George Clooney and she gets all the best scenes and moments of the film. She’s the real break-out here. And her scene in the memorabilia store is the one my kids were talking about the most when we left the theatre. She’s a great character and her story was fascinating, even though we never quite got enough of it.

Adam: Without a doubt she was the best part of the movie. Her presence commanded your attention every moment she was on screen, and it have that much poise and gravitas at such a young age is astounding. The last time I saw an actress accomplish the same feat was Hailee Steinfeld in True Grit, and I really hope that Raffey Cassidy continues to do such amazing work.

Citizen-bot: The comparison to Hailee Steinfeld in True Grit is totally apt. She’s amazing. There’s so much I want to discuss about her but can’t without major spoilers. She’s amazing. That’s it.

And that scene in the memorabilia store. BEST part of the movie, great cameos by Keegan Michael Key and Kathryn Hahn and soooooo many easter eggs. Keep your eyes peeled.

Swank-mo-tron: More than anything, I love the message of this film. That the end of the world is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It has a hope and optimism that was refreshing to see. It was a summer blockbuster of ideas rather than explosions and set pieces, though it has those, too.

Adam: Exactly! “Hope” permeated the film and left me optimistic about the world around me. Humanity hasn’t passed the point of no return. We are close, but even if just one person will believe and do something to change the world, they can accomplish that. Believe you can make a difference, and you will. That said, they did get a bit preachy and heavy handed with their message, and it really didn’t need to be beaten into us again and again.

Citizen-Bot: No cynic ever built anything of value. In 2015, it’s easy to be cynical. But the people that are name-checked or alluded to in this film: Tesla, Eiffel, HG Wells, Edison, Walt frickin’ Disney — despite their flaws, they made something. They tried to get people to hope for something better. I think Brad Bird does the same.

Poltergeist won’t scare anyone

POLTERGEIST (5 of 10) – Directed by Gil Kenan; Written by David Lindsay-Abaire; Starring: Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt, Jared Harris, Jane Adams; Rated PG-13 for “intense frightening sequences, brief suggestive material, and some language”, in wide release May 22, 2015.

Originally posted at BigShinyRobot.com by Andy.

Don’t let the pedigree fool you. Despite being executive produced by Sam Raimi (Evil Dead, Spider-Man) and directed by Gil Kenan (Monster House), Poltergeist offers no new scares or thrills. Instead, we get a fairly predictable, by-the-book remake of the 1982 film (co-written by a Mr. Steven Spielberg).

In the era of over-the-top-blood-by-the-truckful-raining-from-the-sky horror remakes (I’m looking at you, Evil Dead remake!) or the deconstructive masterpiece that is Cabin in the Woods, you’re going to have to offer more than some evil clowns, creepy tvs, and a few good jump scares to make this work. In fact, in terms of ambience and scariness, I think you’ll have more scares watching a playthrough of Five Nights at Freddy’s on YouTube than in this movie.

Which is too bad. Both director and actors really try to elevate this material. Sam Rockwell is great as the dad, as is Jared Harris as the paranormal investigator (who now has his own reality show, natch), but the real stars here are the kids. Without them, the movie wouldn’t work at all. And they do a great job, or at least as much as they can.

Poltergeist isn’t a bad movie by any stretch. In fact, compared to the spate of other very, very, very bad haunted house movies we’ve been subjected to (I’m looking at you, every movie in the Paranormal Activity series!!), it stacks up well. But why this is being released now over Memorial Day weekend is beyond me, when it really would clean up is in October as we’re ready for a good scary movie. Maybe by then it’ll be on DVD and Blu-Ray, in which case, make sure you watch it at home with all your lights turned off and have a great time.

But waste my time and money in a theater when I could be watching Mad Max, Avengers, or Tomorrowland (or even Pitch Perfect if that’s your thing?) Nope. Not unless you’re REALLY in the mood for a few scares but mostly just retreading the same ground as the original, done with better effects.

5 out of 10.